No sleep=breakdown

This past weekend I went on a retreat with my church. The retreat was called A Retreat from Apathy. It was really awesome and really opened my eyes to putting God in the center of my whole life and in everything I do. While the retreat was amazing and totally worth it, I got less than 9 hours of sleep....for the whole weekend. And for me, sleep is something I have to have. Like, I love sleeping. For those that know me, when I get really sleepy I get to be one of two things. Either I get really slap-happy and giggly or I get really emotional or grouchy. Unfortunately for me, I was both of those things last night. For the majority of the afternoon/evening I was pretty slap-happy and giggly. Later on, as I was talking to one heck of a fish daughter (whoo hooo!) I became very emotional. At fish school last night we had talked about God's will for our lives and how in order for us to figure it out, we have to let go of whatever control we want/have. At times, we are so selfish in asking God to make something happen for us. God already had a plan for our lives even before we were born. I don't know about you, but that's pretty mind-blowing to me. He already knew my whole life and what I was going to be and where I was going to end up? Wow. Pure craziness right there. Anyways...so I began thinking of all the decisions I have to make. Decisions which have to be made in the next several weeks. There are several problems that arise from this situation. One: I am a horrible decision maker. Two: How do I know which decision is right? Three: What if I make the wrong one and everything goes chaotic? Four: I DON'T want to make any of these decisions. 

So that makes me kind of at a crossroad. I don't want to make these decisions but I have to. Because of all this over-analyzing going on in my head last night, I preceded to have a breakdown. It was really sudden which made it worse. And it was right before my leadership meeting...great timing right? Fortunately for me, my bff Lo saw me as my breakdown was starting to happen and she pulled me aside and waited for me to spill (because she knew I would). Here's how it went down..."I don't want to make any of these decisions and there are too many decisions and what if that and what if this and blah blah blah" Seriously I can't even understand my mind sometimes. All these questions and concerns and fears come flooding out and I didn't even realize I had all these things in my head! I was just so suddenly overwhelmed that everything was a much bigger deal than it really was. I mean, these decisions are kind of big life decisions but in all honesty? Not doing me much good going around and having all these meltdowns. I mean, I know that I need to trust God completely and just stop worrying and stressing about all this. But that's easier said than done. And for a person like me who worries and stresses out like it's my job? It makes it harder to just simply give that up. I sometimes feel like I'm holding on so tightly to a life preserver so that I don't drown in all this stress and worry that is of the world. I hold on like it's giving me a "sense of security" when it's really giving me all these fears. Like if I don't hold on, everything will fall apart. I wonder what would happen if I just let go. 

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. " 

Early Spring? Yes please!

Happy Wednesday my friends! You know what I love about warm weather? It's time to break out the bathing suits or rather buy bathing suits! This is seriously a highlight of my spring every year. Like for real, I'm not kidding! So today, I went a little crazy and bought TWO bathing suits and yes, I bought them in February where it should not even be in the 70's yet butttt since I live in the sunshine state....helllloooo warm weather!! :) OK so that was my excitement of the day, apart from being able to sit outside for an hour and a half of course! Alright, excitement over about warm weather and bathing suits.

So it's the middle of the semester and all my professors are talking about how we are past the mid-way point of the semester which means this semester is almost over. Which makes me very excited because I graduate this semester (EEKK!) but it also freaks me out cause it's now crunch time. Something on my new years resolutions list was to make all A's this semester....like I said, crunch time. This means no more procrastination! I can do that right? Yeahhh I can. Starting now. Because, although I love this blog, it present a little procrastination problem. Soooo I'm gonna go be productive! Much love :)

TGIF!

For real guys, Thank Goodness It's Friday! It's been a stressful, tiring week. Let me just tell you, my body does not handle going to bed late, getting up early and then working/going to class all day. It's almost 11 in the pm and I'm still awake when I should be in bed but I wanted to write to you guys and tell you my exciting news! I just submitted my undergraduate transfer application to the University of Florida just 5 minutes ago!! Now, of course, I have to wait for like ever but whatevs. My application is done and I don't have to worry about it anymore! If God wants me to go to UF and become a teacher then doggone it I will! Hehe :) Anyhooo, I'm super super exhausted and am in dire need of sleep so I'm off to bed. I hope you lovelies have a wonderful weekend! Good night! :)

Treasure Hunt!

I always seem to find stuff when I'm least expecting to find it. You know, like you are trying to find your favorite shirt to wear and you can't find it and then days later you find it? Don't worry, it happens to me all the time. But yesterday I found a book I've been looking for for like weeks! It's called A Man Worth Waiting For by Jackie Kendall and it's amazing. I haven't finished it yet (duh, because I couldn't find it!) but what I've read so far is really good! It pretty much goes through the story of Ruth and Boaz and how a girl should look for a Boaz for a future husband instead of a Bozo. Meaning, find a guy who is so in love with God instead of himself or his job or whatever it may be. I really love the story of Ruth and Boaz. Like I really hope my future husband is like Boaz! Also, it's really fun to say, "I want a Boaz, not a Bozo!" or "Stop being a Bozo and start being a Boaz!" One of my favorite things Jackie says is, "Let God write your love story. Let him surpass all your expectations." So I highly encourage this book for you single ladies out there; it really changes what you look for in a guy! :) Here's a picture of the book and my happy face at finally finding it! Hope you lovelies have had a great Monday! :)

My sincerest apologies...

Guys, I seriously suck at this whole blogging thing. I've had this thing for over a month and I've only posted 6 times, well 7 now. I'm ashamed :( I started this as a way to be creative and write about things in my life and so far, I've failed. Well that's all about to change! Starting today, I will make a post AT LEAST every other day if not every day! I'll make a conscious effort to do so; not that I'm expecting a whole lot of people to read this but it'll just make me feel better if I make the commitment to stick to this! Ok, now that all my apologies are out and hopefully I've gotten forgiveness from all of you, let's just move on, sound good?

So I hope you all have had a wonderful Saturday. I on the other hand had a whirlwind of a Saturday! Seriously, I spent 8 hours doing a developmental psychology exam. EIGHT HOURS! Longest. day. of. my. life. I took it the first time, didn't so as good as I wanted so we, meaning me and my momma (because she's awesome and still helps me take college exams :)),  looked up the questions I got wrong and then prepared to take it again and what happens? It's not the same questions. Awesome. It would only happen to me. So we take it anyways, and by the end of it, I was so over it. So I submit it and do a heck of a lot better! Unfortunately for me, my teacher takes the average of both exams, not the highest score. Boo on you psych professor! Oh well. At least the first 5 hours of day my were productive. I got to spend it babysitting one of my favorite families and got some moolah in the process. Added bonus!

Random fact about me: I love sappy chick flicks. I really don't know why but for some reason I love them. Not all of them because, let's face it, some of them are really quite ridiculous and obnoxious. Right now as I'm sitting here trying to think of creative things to write, I'm watching "The Holiday" which just happens to be one of my faves. How exciting would that be to basically switch your life with someone from another country for a couple weeks?? You would have a completely new life, new experiences, new friends, new everything; but only for a couple of weeks because that is probably all I could handle. Though at times I do dream about moving somewhere completely different (like Rome, ahh!!) and starting a new life but let's be real, I do not have the courage to do that. But it is quite idyllic to think about isn't it? Anywho, I'm off to bed (to dream about my could-be life in Rome). Goodnight and sweet dreams! :)

Where would your ideal place be to live if you could just pick up and go?